Friday, May 18, 2018

Depression ** Coping mechanisms

3pm 05-17-18

As I feel myself slipping back into a depression, I find myself standing in the kitchen, antsy- force feeding myself cold pasta because well .. it would be the second thing on the list of small things I’ve eaten all day.
Depression, anger, confusion, hurt, sadness, resentment all coupled with an eating disorder that’s been hidden for years, and sharp demons of the past creeping, into the corners of my mind palace..
I’d have to say, it’s not a healthy combination.
In times like these, it’s hard to do anything .
So I begin my solitary journey inward .
I call on the muses for inspiration .
The angels for signs of hope .
The fairies of manifestation to show me opportunities,
and my brain to keep itself together.

It’s hard battling a brain that’s more intelligent than you, a body that needs to be well taken care of and fit but has a hard time producing enough happy chemicals..

Bodily care and meditation are my saviors, as I think on self care from previous extreme lows.
Hoping these things will give me a boost and snap me out of it.
Depression, along with emotional turmoil put on the “deal with later” shelf (mind palace nonsense) makes for a ticking time bomb, scooting me closer and closer to the edge of the cliffs .

As I feel my depression soaked clothing, I start the shower and strip down . Feeling lighter already .
Am I the only one who feels better without clothing?
 Sure, it’s not generally heavy. But it weighs my body down .
Coping mechanisms in hand , I just want this depression over with
and I know once I am gone from this place that once made me feel so loved and safe, I will once again start coming back to myself .
The world will be beautiful again ( It is even now)  and I won’t be crying all the time.
(Oh but how long ?)
Woe is me, never works for long . And it’s never been my cup of tea.
(gentleness and patience along with honesty and communication)

With the presence in my hands,
And the future outstretched .
My future has never been more clear ,

Now to deal with the present ..

Friday, August 11, 2017

Man: the biggest threat to sharks

There are currently over 400 species of sharks swimming in our earth's waters. They are one of the oldest apex predators (around 450 million years old) and are a huge factor in keeping the ocean and its fish population under control. Its bad enough the demand for human consumption of fish is a factor in the threat to our oceans, but what about the bigger threats that we pose to the population of sharks?

Approx. 100 million sharks are killed each year by humans. The deaths range from accidental motor killings, environment degradation, to commercial fishing boats picking them up accidentally while hunting for other fish, to being targeted by ludicrous humans aimed to torture, and the biggest threat of all- being targeted for a popular asian dish known as shark fin soup.

Shark finning, Currently the biggest threat to the most important predator to grace our oceans.
Mind you, shark finning is not just illegal, but shark fishing in general has been banned by a wide list of countries.
below is a list of countries currently banning shark finning, shark fishing and the shipment of shark parts. Also, a list of places that currently use shark fins or transport them. Listed is one of our own airlines, United.
List of countries banning shark fishing and finning 

Shark finning alone kills around 75 MILLION sharks per year, racking in devastating numbers for the population as a whole. The species of sharks that are in the greatest amount of danger, are that of the Great hammerhead and the Scalloped hammerhead.Both, are listed as having a high risk of extinction.
There are currently 14 species of sharks targeted by the shark fin trade.
Below is a link to those 14 species:
The 14 species of sharks at risk 
and here is a link to critically endangered shark species, for more than one reason:
10 amazing endangered shark species

The shark fins are used in a popular asian delicacy known as shark fin soup. Sure, a dish using a fish is harmless right ?
You'd be surprised how wrong this is, The fins are actually cut off when the sharks are still alive, and the fishermen then proceed to throw the sharks back into the ocean. Where they are likely to suffer a long and painful death. They can bleed to death, die of suffocation (sharks must be in constant swim motion to stay alive) or get eaten by other predatory creatures of the ocean. This leaves them and their shark families devastated.

The dish is rumored to have medical properties (which are not scientifically proven) but what the science really shows, is that sharks contain a high Level of mercury and subsequently pose a threat to our health. The fin itself has little to no taste and is actually used as a texture additive to the dish.  Which is served at weddings or banquets. Showing that the dish itself is prized and not really sought after for the taste or health benefits. The soup itself can range from $100 a serving and higher, making it a must-have in wealthy asian culture.

It's extremely hard to catch the fisherman who are participating in this illegal act, given the vastness of the ocean and the hundreds of thousands of fisherman going in and out of the waters daily. Making it almost impossible, to accurately records the numbers and report them correctly. Leaving the targeted species vulnerable to being at a greater risk than previously thought.

While many countries ban the finning and fishing of sharks, many places still serve the dish and do little to nothing to persecute the people caught in the act. These 'laxed laws and persecution rates, leave many comfortable with committing such crimes. At a whopping $450 a pound for the shark fins alone, its no wonder the prized dollars makes them highly sought after. The shark meat is priced less than your average fish, so the meat to these fisherman is considered useless, which is why they are generally thrown back in finless, alive and helpless . There are approx 26-73 million shark fins being bought and consumed per year in china alone. This is but one country indulging in the shark fin delicacy.

There are laws put in place and organizations working to better the possibility of keeping this ancient predator alive and protected. We are the biggest threat to these species and we alone have to fix the damage done.
Here is a link to the shark conservation act.
Shark conservation act

There are wonderful organizations like the WWF who work everyday to not only to help these endangered species be protected and studied, but other endangered species as well.
You can even Adopt a great white (how fun is that) Below is a link to do just that
Adopt me!
You can always donate to these ocean researchers and organizations (But always be sure to do your research to make sure they are actually using the money for that)
ways sharks are being helped
Here is a link to more ways you can help
Ways to help

Not only is our awareness necessary, but our donations, studies and our active participation in spreading this knowledge. One day at a time we can save endangered species. 


Wednesday, June 28, 2017

At home WD-40 recipe

Don't you love a door that moves with ease, and doesn't squeak each time its opened and closed? 
WD-40 is a great household lubricant that can easily quiet the squeak,
But what of that awful smell and possible hazards of having such chemical in and around the house?

There is a easy and quick solution for an at home mix that contains only two ingredients that most everyone has In their kitchen.

You'll Need: 
-Olive Oil
-Small Spray bottle 

-Fill Bottle 3/4th the way full with olive oil and the rest with water. 
-Apply to squeaks.

Eco-friendly and safe to have around the family!

Get to lubin' 

Friday, August 28, 2015

Full Circle

Sometimes It take a catastrophe Of an event , to shake us back into our Full Reality.
Ive never been one for tragedy, But I do Love The Essence Of a Phoenix; What comes after the tragedy.
Some things are self inflicted, Like holding the poison that you see is labeled, and still drinking it. Im not blaming the poison for this discomfort, but boy is the Tastte and effect An awakening.
I guess you could say I never really Lost my voice, just set it aside for my Duty.
Sacred Holy Path, and How could I have ever forgotten the Sacred Path Of Self Love and Healing.
 As I sit here with a Razor In my lap, and marks on my arm- I cant help but Feel whole in the Doing of everything, Although, From my observations & Experiences , the self harm in itself is the Re-creation of Reality. For some sick twisted reason, self harm is comforting. I havent had the urge in Years, Like since High school..
But as Old wounds are flashed through my mind, Mixed with the new - I cant help but remember the calm I felt as a razor sliced me . Its like , Reality can hit you like a bus, and when the Shutting down begins, the pain is what keeps you in check. It shows you that with the pain there is awakening. " This is reality, You do not wish to feel these emotions, here, let me wake you up."

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Defining Myself.

Catching myself in Moments of Utter Dramatics, and I realize that this is how it is!

How I am! A person Of Extremes; If I could find a Happy Medium, then Sure ... But I don't know If I would be happy... ( We Shant not Try ;] )

Loving the Person that I am ... How Ideal.
for In Loving , You find what You Love.. All Of the Everythings. The Beauty of..

The Monsters, and the fears

The Demons that Stand , trying to whisper your fears,

They are Beautiful all the same. Never letting them set up camp, but seeking them out
for inspiration ;

 A Dance with the Darkness of my Soul.

Multi-Faceted ,
and Always Chasing the Tunes of Up-beat


Dancing for the sake of Divinity, and sensing The Loss of a Soul.

Experience. Release. Recharge...

Sacrificing Sacred Smoke and Thanking the Bones of Our Ancestors; Ever Grateful for the Blood That Courses, Teaching and Healing.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Sacred Truth

How can we choose to place ourselves in a spiritual sense on a regular basis?
To catch ourselves and throw our whole being into that holy essence.
Its like A purity ringing in your ears, through the halls in your mind.
Awakening you, telling you. Each and every truth. Each one as you ask, and go further and further into the whole lot. 
As if to remind ourselves of the inner peace that lives deep within us, a whole cup, that overflows outward. To spill over and share..Constantly filling up and spilling over (oops!) x] 
 The sacred truth of life is that there are infinite sacred truths..
and on and on and on..

Thursday, September 6, 2012


Here I Am-- On The Brink of Insanity,
Clutching My Heart In My Hands as If It Were my Last Possession in the World.
I Never Know what The Universe Will Teach me (until the moment of) , Nor Do I know What Gifts I Will Be Given.

My Heart Knows that She Will have to Accept her Happiness.
My Soul Says that my heart Needs To understand The Difference Between Happiness and Fantasy, and its okay to choose to not settle for "What Could Be"
One Day at A time...
Blessings to Be, Timee Is Never wasted.

Question All That Is Surrounding you,
The Faces.
The Places.
The Choices.